Literary Online Ads

Good deals abound on eBay this week:

For $999,999, you can purchase the publication and screen rights for an autobiography where “This bohemian girl tries to rediscover Jack Kerouack in an updated setting. Follow the misadventures of this identity starved individual as she discovers herself. Writing styles sometimes recalls Henry Miller, Jack Kerouac and ends up evolving into her own style as she discovers her own sense of self.”

For $25,000, you can purchase the screenplay for a science fiction movie pitched as “Aliens Meets Terminator.” 

For $6,999, you can have the “original, unpublished manuscript by the first ex-Enron executive to be sentenced to Federal prison.”

Meanwhile, on craigslist, a ghostwriter is looking for collaboration opportunities. If you’re someone with a story to tell but don’t have the experience, time, or necessary computer paper, then send along your idea. The poster instructs potential authors/clients to “send ideas, proposals, and outlines etc. in THE BODY OF THE E-MAIL. No attachments. Make ‘em clear and concise. First-rate.” While I have absolutely no reason to question this person’s integrity, I gotta admit that this seems like a helluva way to break through writer’s block.   

Here’s that “published author” thing: this craigslist poster explains “what you’ll get if you have sex with me on the first date.” 

Finally, if you are of Asian descent and would like to inspire an erotic collection, then this opportunity promises fun and big money.